David Archuleta’s "Stage Dad From Hell" Banned From Idol

Big news breaking Friday from American Idol regarding David Archuleta. His father, Jeff, is apparently the stage father from hell (so says TMZ) and has been banned from Idol.

Jeff Archuleta will be allowed to sit in the audience, but he can no longer be backstage or participate in anything production related. Whether he’s really a stage-father-from-hell is highly subjective; however, the reason he’s being banned is pretty straightforward.

Now, I’m sure the good folks at DavidArchuletaFanBlast.com will comment another 20 times telling me to quit bashing the kid, but read on before making that judgment.

Jeff is being banned because David sang lyrics from Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls” during his Tuesday performance of “Stand By Me.” For those who don’t know, “Beautiful Girls” is basically “Stand By Me” with different words.

The problem is that by doing so, David violated copyright right there on live television. It cost Idol a gob of money. My guess is it probably cost them about $15,000 to $25,000 for a one-time television use. I’m not totally up on my music royalty rates considering I haven’t earned any in seven years.

According to TMZ, “Producers sent him an e-mail telling him the lyrics could not be changed. They were beyond pissed when David sang the song with Kingston’s lyrics during the live show.”

Yes, I understand Idol’s position on the matter, and I would be willing to bet that Jeff is probably overbearing. Probably a stage dad from hell. I’m willing to bet Jeff makes as many headlines the next couple of years as his kid, and I would not be surprised at all to see a reality show in his future.

However, sorry. It was a brilliant move for David to add that lyric. Jeff’s advice was spot on. It completely modernized the tune, giving it current appeal, a current sound. Yes, they were merely words, but “Stand By Me” is a 47 year-old song known pretty much only by adults.

“Beautiful Girls” is a hit today.

I bet Jeff would be willing to pay the fee himself.

And I’m guessing that if we were to ask Jeff, he’d do it again. And I totally don’t blame him. However, if David does it on his own again, might he be disqualified?

Let’s just say that the odds of David singing “Stand By Me” again on this show are zero.

High drama.

I’ve said it from the beginning: I think The Kid is by a mile the most talented singer on Idol this season. However, whether Archuleta wins or even makes it to the finale, I think the show will be more than glad to be done with him.

But that’s what they get for soliciting contestants who are virtually pros already.

Crosby Loggins Deservedly Wins ‘Rock The Cradle’ … & Kenny Loggins’ Top 5

MTV’s first and, probably, only edition of “Rock The Cradle” has come and gone with the one and only rightful winner winning. That would be Crosby Loggins.

For those of you who did not watch, the show featured a handful of singers, all sons or daughters of famous musicians. Long story short, the competition came down to Loggins, Jesse Blaze Snider and Chloe Lattanzi.

Most critics panned the show, and others referred to it as hideous, a nightmare, etc. However, I have to say: Kenny Loggins’ kid is good in his own right. Vocally, he sounds like the lead singer from America and his vibe is heavily acoustic.

Crosby’s road to victory here was in his willingness to loosen up. Look, I empathize with that completely. I’m going to play my first solo gig in more than a decade in three weeks, and I’m as tight as … uh, well, let’s not go there.

On the other hand, he did have a formidable challenger in Snider, the offspring of Twister Sister frontman Dee Snider, who believes his son “kicks ass,” as he said 567 times during the course of the six-week or so show.

But to me, Snider’s potential, his upside isn’t so much in music. I think the guy should get into television. He’s got the look. He’s charismatic. He’s well-spoken.

The third person to make it to the final week was Olivia Newton-John’s daughter, Chloe. You’re going to laugh, scoff and think me a complete moron, but I think the chick has something. No, not a disease … I mean some talent.

She has a very funky, dark, sexy Amy Winehouse meets Evanescence type of vibe. Chloe is heavy on the vibrato, and the show made her seem like an emotional mess. However, she’s clearly a singer whose sense of style, purpose and identity is unique. Lattanzi also clearly wants no part of being a teenybopper.

She’s not quite there yet, but I am not disinterested. I’m very curious to see what she does from here.

Bottom line: Loggins deserved this. And by this, I mean the win and the $100,000 and the recording deal. Mind you, the kid comes from a millionaire family and already has a touring band. However, the music biz is mega tight right now, so even celebrity kids need exposure.

However, I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that part of the reason I rooted for Crosby was because of his dad. Kenny Loggins is one of those musicians whose great work was truly superior but whose bad music was truly terrible.

Personally, I can listen to “Footloose,” but it rather makes me cringe. I’m still not sure what “Heart-a-light” is, although I know the song’s title is “Heartlight.” And, all that Pooh Corner adult-hippie music makes me crazy.

But 96.9299364 percent of everything Kenny’s done musically is wonderful. If you’re ever in Oklahoma and need a pianist, I know your songs. Look me up.

Anyway, I thought I’d rank Kenny’s Top 5 tracks of all time, just the stuff he performed, not counting songs he wrote for others, such as “What A Fool Believes.”

5. “Keep The Fire”

There is not one video on YouTube for this song. However, the 1979 minor hit had that quintessential Loggins groove to it.

4. “The Real Thing”

As this video shows, Loggins was also the perpetrator of several terrible hairdos back in the day. This is truly shiteous. However, it’s a great song. By the way, for Idol fans, did you know that the loser’s song this year, “Celebrate Me Home,” done by Ruben Studdard is actually a Kenny Loggins song?

3. “This Is It”

Also from the “Keep The Fire” album, “This Is It” is the first Loggins song I remember. It was the inspirational track for the 1981 Tulsa Golden Hurricane, who won the NIT, beating Syracuse.

A little trivia for those who didn’t know, but Loggins apparently wrote this song for his sick father. However, this has evolved into one of the great “sports” songs of my generation. Believe me, this might get played right before “Eye of the Tiger” next time OU is in a national title game.

2. “Danny’s Song”

Done originally with music partner Jim Messina, this is simply a classic.

1. “Heart To Heart”

I throw around some hyperbole, and I sometimes declare songs among my favorites when maybe they’re borderline. However, Loggins’ 1982 hit — which peaked at No. 15 on the Billboard chart (remember it like it was yesterday) — is truly my favorite pop song of all time.

If I made a list of all the pop music in the history of the world, this song would win out as being my all-time favorite. It’s soulful, beautiful, funky. The lyrics are romantically urgent, sort of the “This is It” of sappy songs. And it came from a brief era of what I’d call deep blue-eyed soul, from roughly 1981 to about 1983, where pop music inspired me directly.

Heavy keyboard. Heavy soul. Still very pop.

Jason Castro’s Disastrous Performance Ensures No 4th-Place Shockers

Yesterday, I predicted David Archuleta would fall by the Idol wayside, the victim of a fourth-place shocker. You know, the kind that took Tamyra Gray and Chris Daughtry from their respective seasons.

Simple reason why: Archuleta’s support had waned, and it was Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame week. Some of you believe this is a true talent competition, and it’s not. Idol is a hybrid talent competition, prom-king/queen vote. That means the most talented vocalist doesn’t always win.

David Archuleta crushed ‘em tonight, and he’s still in second on DialIdol.com as of 10 p.m. CDT. For those of you not familiar with DialIdol, it’s a software application that measures phone business to determine probability of elimination. It’s been a pretty accurate (generally) predictor of things to come, and it absolutely predicted both Daughtry and Melinda Doolittle’s surprising eliminations in years past.

However, for as good as Archuleta was singing Elvis’ “Love Me Tender” and Sam Cooke’s “Stand By Me,” with a brilliant choice to invoke a little Sean Kingston in there — Jason Castro was as bad as could be.

If Archuleta was the “crusher” tonight, Castro was the “butcher.”

He slaughtered Bob Marley’s “I Shot The Sheriff,” and then sliced and diced The Byrds’ “Mr. Tambourine Man.” And America has voted — er, not voted appropriately.

Castro is a goner, but I am here to tell you that Syesha Mercado has her “A” game going right now, and neither Archuleta or David Cook is a lock for a finale at her expense. After singing “Proud Mary,” she was brought to tears after her version of “Change Is Gonna Come.”

After Randy Jackson trashed her, Paula gave her one of those uncomfortable standing ovations and just clapped. Syesha turned to pudding, the tears flowing — and compassionate Simon made an appearance, noting that he agreed with Paula, who noted that the song was an appropriate choice for Mercado given her progress throughout the season.

I concur. I am having a hard time not getting behind Syesha, who I hated at the start of the year particularly given her experience with “The One,” ABC’s terrible Idol copycat. However, she’s the type of contestant I particularly respect on this show.

She starts the competition OK. Gets better, and then brings it at the end. Nothing peeves me off more than somebody with an opportunity like this half-assing it, not going for it 100 billion percent.

For those of you who have followed my blog for some time, you know that my favorite reality contestant of all time is Kendra Todd from “The Apprentice” a few years back. She laid low and then turned into an axe murderer at the end, leaving bodies strung about.

Syesha has a hard time matching the fan base of Cook and Archuleta, and I do NOT think she’s more gifted vocally than “The Kid.” But could she sneak into a finale?

You bet.

David Cook was alright tonight, doing a fair job with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like The Wolf” and then bludgeoning (my opinion) The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” He’s unique, cool, hip, whatever. However, to me it’s all about the vocals, and Archuleta kills him.

Make that “he crushes him.”

In my previous post, there was a predicate all Idol fans had to accept as fact. That is: It mattered not what WE think. It matters who votes and how often. And I thought Archuleta was particularly vulnerable tonight.

Color me dead wrong. However, given that Simon said he “crushed” the competition, it renders me quizzical that he’s only in second place, according to DialIdol. That spells trouble next week or in a finale, in my humble opinion.

But one thing is for certain. Jason Castro made his own bed tonight.

He shot the sheriff and killed the deputy and, for that matter, the tambourine man. He’s a sure bet to be gone come Wednesday night.

Prediction: David Archuleta Gets Eliminated From Idol *This Week*

Just more than two months ago, I proclaimed that David Archuleta would win Season 7 of American Idol.

Specifically, I wrote:

Here’s the deal with “the kid” though. Not only do I think David Archuleta wins American Idol, I think he becomes the show’s first legitimate male pop star.

He’ll do Broadway. He’ll have a legitimate hit record on mainstream radio. He’ll be on TV. He is essentially a perfect pop star, and here’s why I think this competition is o-v-e-r.

I still believe everything I wrote except for one thing: David Archuleta will not win American Idol.

He’ll be eliminated this week.

First, I should note that I hope I’m wrong. I like the kid. He’s not my cup of tea musically, but he has a tremendous vocal gift, a natural talent that I think surpasses the rest of the group. With the right kind of music, preferably a little more soulful, I could dig him enough to at least listen to a David Archuleta CD.

However, I’ve always maintained that if this competition is about vocal talent, Idol should have ended in February.

But it’s not, and we all know it. And we accept it.

Heck, David got a ringing endorsement, I think, from none other than Taylor Hicks who told a newspaper reporter that he’s pulling for Arch and that he reminds him of a young Wayne Newton.

I think it was a spot-on observation, although I still think a comparison to Donny Osmond is still much more a propos at this juncture in the kid’s career. While I can envision Archuleta in Vegas, I’m not sure a nightclub act would be his thing.

Secondly, I’ve never once picked the Idol correctly from the start of the season, so I’d like to be right for a change. Heck, eight, nine weeks ago, I truly thought Archuleta was a lock to win, but along the way:

David Cook stepped it up, big time. And if you look at the voting trends over the past four weeks, according to DialIdol.com, Cook is the solid frontrunner.

… and …

Syesha Mercado went Broadway. Don’t look now, but the biggest mover the past three weeks not only in terms of DialIdol.com but in terms of Web buzz is Mercado. She’s found her niche with the Broadway vibe, and she represents what Idol has traditionally been about the previous six seasons — a big-voiced female balladeer with a good look.

Jordin Sparks had her up weeks and down weeks last year but didn’t turn it on with voters until the very end. To discount what Mercado is doing right now in terms of converting the voting masses is not to be dismissed.

After a pretty good Neil Diamond week performance, Archuleta struggled on DialIdol.com’s Tuesday night polling. Despite being beside Brooke White when she was eliminated, Syesha was not in the Bottom Two.

Ryan Seacrest never even intimated it, and I suspect Archuleta was actually in that second bottom spot. Actually, it could have been Jason Castro; however, I suspect it was pretty close. Call me a cynic, but I think that producers weren’t on the up and up (and I’m presuming heavily here that I’m right) about who was in the Bottom Two, leading to some level of comfort among Archuleta’s fan base in particular.

Couple with that the fact that this week is Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame week, meaning Cook and Castro *should* coast given the breadth of material suited to them available, and I think Archuleta is prime, prime, prime for the shocker of all shockers.

Sure, could Archuleta’s fan base get it together and come through. However, I suspect that fan base is eroding a bit. Let’s face facts: While Archuleta is probably the most naturally gifted (heavy dose of opinion, of course), he has yet to improve on his performance of “Imagine” 10 or so weeks ago.

Furthermore, in the musical arrangement department, his efforts have been as uncool as can be. Meanwhile, his competitors are pulling out some unique (albeit copied) arrangements, a subtle ploy to sway fans. It gives them a sense of uniqueness and originality.

Last and possibly most important, devoted fans of past eliminees have seemingly sided with people other than Archuleta. I wouldn’t say that I think his castmates hate him; I don’t think that at all. He seems to be extremely likeable, personally.

But it has to be hard to swallow for a cool guy like David Cook that the “David” Natasha Bedingfield wanted to hug on national TV wasn’t you.

In my deepest gut of reality-show guts, I smell a massive shocker coming. This week. I think producers know it’s a possibility, and while I wouldn’t suggest they’re hoping for it — I would absolutely suggest they’re aware of it.

Yeah, I hope I’m wrong because I’d like for my Web prediction at the start of the finals to come true. If you’re going to be the Idol expert, you have to come through on the champ at least one year.

On the other hand, I’m a pretty fair reader of trends. Stats. Past seasons and what happened each episode and how other “shockers” happened.

And this week has all the makings of a stunner.

Dallas Stars: Party Like It’s 1999

Hockey is the most exciting sport come playoff time there is. More exciting than baseball, basketball and football combined — and when the game goes 4OT like Dallas’ did last night (this morning) against San Jose, it becomes all the more exciting.

And for Dallas, it was not only a game winner — it was a series winner.

On to Detroit, the Metroplex is certainly hockey mad by this point. It evokes memories of our Stanley Cup championship nine years ago, so I guess you could say the Stars are partying like it’s 1999.

For real. Here are the highlights of Game 6 as well as Brenden Morrow’s game winner.

Madonna’s "Hard Candy" Too Derivative, Inconsistent

How does Madonna stay pop culturally relevant?

By invoking other hot names from the music industry to work on her new album, that’s how. Sure, Madge is the biggest female pop star of my lifetime, and — yes — she’s absolutely still relevant in the music game.

But is her new album, Hard Candy, actually any good? Or is it merely a production piece?

One of the things I look for in any new CD is a musical or lyrical theme, something to cohesively tie it all together. Unfortunately, the first thing I notice about Hard Candy is that it sounds a little bit like Timbaland and a little bit like Pharrell Williams.

Neither sound is bad, but neither is Madonna.

Take the first single from the CD, “4 Minutes To Save The World.” Yes, I like it. Yes, the video is cool. But it also sounds like nothing more than a Timbaland production, which can not only become tiresome, it will also be dated in three years.

Song to song, there are a few gems on the CD. Take the chorus from “Candy Shop,” which opens the CD. The song is totally unremarkable UNTIL that chorus, when a jazzy-minded Queen of Pop employs some really cool progressions. Well, her producers employed those. Nevertheless, sounds really cool.

The best song on the CD by a mile is “Dance 2Night,” a duet with Justin Timberlake, who partners with her on “4 Minutes.” It invokes sounds from her days working with Jellybean Benitez, and dare I say it’s downright hot. A mega hot track, and it’s guaranteed to be a hit.

And if you’re a fan of the 80s and that whole vibe, this is the one single to check out on the entire disc. In fact, here’s a YouTube video with the music in it:

However, from “Give It 2 Me,” to “Heartbeat” to the Pharrell Williams track “Beat Goes On,” Madonna’s new CD is completely unremarkable. This release comes on the heels on what I thought was her best album in at least a decade if not ever, “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” which seriously was a brilliant dance record.

That CD was also well-produced, but it was cohesive, not merely a collection of mostly throw-away singles. Even worse, the singles on Hard Candy are so clearly influenced by others that it comes off as totally derivative.

Take “The Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You,” which is 100 percent derivative of Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around …” On the face of it, it’s a good track, but we’ve come to expect more from Madonna.

So, let’s get to the questions …

1. What grade do you give this album? C+

2. What’s the best song on the CD? Dance 2Night

3. Would you buy this CD? Nope. But I might buy “Dance 2Night.”

5 Off-Season To-Dos For The Dallas Mavericks

Not to get too sappy sports sentimental on you, but I recall that Game 5 win over Utah back in 2001, was it?

Calvin Booth hit the game winner in Salt Lake to lift the 7th-seeded Dallas Mavericks to the NBA’s second round, where we’d get crushed by the San Antonio Spurs. I recall how grateful I was that Mark Cuban had bought this perennial laughingstock and turned them into a winner.

Several years, a tragic Finals loss and a mammoth first-round upset later, and a subsequent loss to the Hornets doesn’t seem so bad. First, the New Orleans Hornets were Oklahoma City’s team temporarily for two years.

We’re genuinely happy to see them do well here in Oklahoma, and we’d love to see them win the whole thing. Perhaps they could have a secondary ticker-tape parade in Bricktown.

And we’re getting a team here in Oklahoma City (whether Seattle yet realizes it or not), so my loyalties will be squarely on whatever we call the new franchise.

So, I shouldn’t really care where the Mavs go from here, but I do. Spent way too many years taking abuse from roommates for sitting through 13-69 seasons. Celebrated the Calvin Booth gamewinner like we had just won a national title here in Norman.

Anguished over Game 3 of the 2006 Finals.

And, yet, here we are. What’s next? What should be next?

Well, Cuban did fire Avery Johnson, which had to be done. Personally, I never cared for the little general, particularly after his tiff with Eddie Sefko of the DMN. Thought it was bush league.

But on the court, Avery way overthought himself. Tried tricking things up where they didn’t need tricking, such as when he altered the Mavs’ lineup to start the series with Golden State last year. However, tons of pundits have been through it.

To his defense, I think the system in Dallas failed him. While I’ll credit Cuban with investing his money into a team that desperately needed a lift at the beginning of the decade, the Internet billionaire is also an unbearable micro-manager.

Avery always had him looking over his shoulder.

Secondly, Avery wasn’t the guy who traded for Jason Kidd or who let Steve Nash go a few years back because he wasn’t paying attention. Nope, that was Cuban, too.

Those two moves are most responsible for where the Mavs are at today, and there’s no need to rehash ‘em. They’re done, and so is this franchise as it exists on April 30, 2008.

After the Golden State series last year, I insisted: You gotta blow this up. This team, as-is, will never, ever in the history of ever win a title.

This year, everybody is agreeing with me.

So, I’ll give you five things that need to happen for the Dallas Mavericks to have a shot at an NBA title in three years. I say three years because they have no shot in the next two seasons for sure, and to be more realistic, I should probably say five years.

1. Josh Howard should be dismissed.

I was a fan of the Wake Forest product, and at one time thought he was the club’s most promising player. You’re likely aware of his marijuana admission on local radio last week, but did you hear about the birthday party?

After Dallas’ Game 4 loss to New Orleans, Josh handed out invitations to his birthday party in the locker room. Down 3-1, no Mavs fan was in a mood to celebrate anything, but apparently J-Ho was.

His reaction? You only live once.

Wow. The dope made him stupid, clearly. What a bad teammate. What a cancer.

Trade him if you can, but dismiss him outright if you have to. He cannot be on this club next year. Character counts unless it’s the Cowboys. Kidding aside, there are only 11 bodies on an NBA roster. Character and commitment to teamwork really does count.

2. Dump all the dumpable old guys.

I don’t care what value they bring on the open market. Go get some young projects. Jerry Stackhouse, Erick Dampier, Eddie House, etc. do the club no good at this point. If Dallas is interested in leadership, bring Sam Cassell on board.

Unlike Howard, Cassell is a great teammate.

3. Plan on ways to get Jason Kidd gone.

With Jason, Dallas needs to get something of value next year. Kidd will be on the roster in 2008-09, but I suspect he could be traded next spring or in the summer of 2009.

Start daydreaming, at least, about that exit now. Figure out a way to maximize what was truly one of the bad NBA trades of the past decade.

4. Mark Cuban should make himself invisible.

Mark, buddy, we know you own the team. And in full disclosure, I have ripped this guy time and time again over the past three seasons. But on the flip side, I give him 100 percent credit for the rebirth of Mavs hoops when he bought the team.

And I’m not saying the move should be permanent. Take two or three years off while a new coach builds this team, alleviating the pressure off everyone. The Mavs are winning no titles until at least 2011-12, and even then we’re probably looking at 2013-14 before realistically having a shot, IF this thing is managed right.

5. Build a balanced team on the court.

The NBA is more science than art. The Phoenix Suns style of ball ain’t winning anybody a title. Likewise, the New York Knicks never won a title with their slow-down type of ugly ball back in the 1990s.

A championship NBA team needs a go-to guy, and unfortunately, Dirk Nowitzki is not that. He’s a No. 2, although I disagree that the Mavs necessarily need a great guard to make him better. Dallas simply needs a go-to guy, a winner. A clutch shot. A vocal leader.

A championship NBA team has great role players. Specifically, the Mavs need a defensive center who won’t get posterized on a regular basis while understanding that scoring is vital to winning. The Mavs need a bruiser, like a Bruce Bowen, like an Eduardo Najera, a nuisance on the court.

Given what Cuban was able to do with this franchise when he bought it, supposing he hires a capable basketball coach and, perhaps, upgrades his player-personnel staff (time for Donnie Nelson to go, too?), I think a pair of 24-58 seasons wouldn’t be so bad.

Orlando had to suck to get Dwight Howard. Cleveland had to suck to get Lebron James. Perhaps the Mavs need a season or two of sucking hard instead of going halfway.

Yes, my remedies for the most part are simple and vague, but my guess is that Dallas will land a re-tread coach like a Jeff VanGundy or a Rick Carlisle and that Cuban will stay super involved with everything.

And all I’m suggesting is that the Dallas Mavericks have to find a way to adhere to the pretty clear NBA on-the-court formula for success while innovating in a manner that allows them to achieve it much sooner rather than later.

Trust me. It will take some magical Mark Cuban innovation for this thing to work anytime soon.

N*E*R*D Funks Up OKC

One of the best acts in music was in Oklahoma City on Tuesday, and no it wasn’t Kanye West.

It was the opening act on a card featuring three of them. If only I could have paid $10 to go see Pharrell Williams’ side project called N*E*R*D, I would have.

But, no, I would have had to pay $75 to see them and Lupe Fiasco (who apparently did not perform due to illness) and Rihanna and Kanye, and while it would have been a great scene, I suspect, to me, the best music would have come at the very beginning.

Influenced heavily by groups like Steely Dan and The Police, N*E*R*D takes that funk and rock vibe and twists it into something unique, entertaining and utterly competent. I’ve pushed N*E*R*D on anybody who will listen, and I will again today.

Here are two of my favorites, the first being “Things Are Getting Better” and the second being “The Way She Dances.”

Idol Has Turned Into A Hot, Lazy, Ill-Produced Mess

I’ve argued for years that between 2002-2006, there was no better produced television program on Earth than American Idol. However, Tuesday’s episode was a mess.

And it’s symptomatic not just of bad luck or accident, but of a trend that signifies either laziness or ineptitude.

Idol producers decided to alter its format a bit this week, not by having singers in the Top 5 sing two songs — that’s common — but by having the judges judge them after both were done.

What you, the home viewer, don’t know is that there is a “rehearsal” right before the show, and the judges for the most part formulate their remarks based on the rehearsal performance if they’re there. And, this week, Paula gives that away by critiquing Jason Castro on both of his performances after only one.

In a panic, host Ryan Seacrest — suddenly looking 35 — stopped to correct her, guiding her toward a path of (sobriety?) clarity regarding her comments.

Simon looked at her as if he expected it, like he would have if she had just shot up heroin.

If Idol is truly headed downward not only in terms of ratings but also within the realm of pop culture, it’s off to a train-wreck of a start, perhaps aspiring to be the Judy Garland of television shows.

That could make it all the more entertaining.

Beyond Paula’s slip-up at the midway point of the show, it truly seems again this season as if all the judges are mailing it in. At times I think Randy Jackson is the only one staying true to himself, sticking with judging vocals.

Unfortunately, he rarely even looks interested anymore.

With Simon, you wonder what his motivation is, such as tonight when he suggested Syesha Mercado was in trouble. On this show, to those of us who follow it closely, that is Cowell’s signal to coax callers into voting.

It was essentially him saying, “You absolutely deserve to be here, and I am going to say you’re in trouble to wake people up.”

Evidence? After two hours on dialidol.com, Syesha held the top spot in its Top 5 predictions, based on phone traffic, and Mercado’s performances were hardly worthy.

Long run, I’m not sure what Simon’s motivation would be although I don’t think it is as sinister as him trying to ensure that a big seller wins the competition for the purpose of his profit, not that it would even be sinister to do so. If that were his motivation, in retrospect, wouldn’t he have stepped in and proclaimed Chris Daughtry the God of light and power two seasons ago?

No?

In my opinion, the show has outlived their usefulness. Idol execs were looking for input from viewers regarding the show, and there you have mine. It needs major refreshening at the host level.

Neither Simon nor Paula nor Randy looks interested. They act as if this gig is being taken for granted, and they have become boring and predictable, as Cowell might say. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s their fault.

The show’s producers have failed to switch this puppy up enough over the past four seasons. It’s the same format, the same shtick, the same lame Ford or Coca-Cola commercials, the same cringe-inducing singalongs, the same terrible band arrangements.

And the blame for that probably should ascend to Nigel Lythgoe, who probably decided not to tweak anything about the show because it was all working so swimmingly. I can’t argue with that.

But then there are the performances.

Yikes. This has happened over the past couple of seasons, and it’s this phenomenon of contestants clearly being “over it” by about the Final 7. Brooke White looks like she’d rather be hit over the head with a frying pan than perform another week. She rushes through songs and performs to avoid messing it up, as opposed to making it great.

She’s not the only one. Castro clearly would like to be anywhere else than that stage (smoking a blunt?). And when that’s apparent to the public, then why should we be interested?

Perhaps I’m wrong. If so, again, I’d blame it on production because it sure as heck appears that way. In fact, Idol production has become so predictable and blase that every music or talent competition show out there pretty much picks up on the Idol format.

Recently, The New York Post put together its list of the 35 greatest shows on TV — EVER. And predictably, Idol was in the Top 5.

While I disagree with their top pick (The Sopranos was highly overrated. I would have picked Seinfeld.), I would have placed Idol second. It was a masterful concept, a trend-setter, a pop culture icon, a ratings nightmare for its competition and a cash cow.

However, as Tuesday night’s disaster of show signified, Idol has turned into a mess. Change or die. That is the challenge.

5 Scenarios For American Idol’s Final 5

Five left. And they all think they have a chance.

American Idol’s 7th season is winding down with more of a whimper than a bang, particularly if you’ve seen the ratings. Still the best ratings on TV, but it’s clear changes are a must. Or it’s clear Idol only has a handful of seasons left.

But these three young men and two young women still singing their hearts out for America’s votes all believe they have a shot to win this competition. And they’d be dead wrong.

Only David Archuleta and David Cook have any shot at all to win Idol in 2008. Nevertheless, I have five scenarios for the Final 5, the only viable scenarios remaining this season — ranked in order from least likely to most likely.

5. Syesha Mercado sneaks into a finale against David Archuleta.

I call this the Diana DeGarmo scenario. In Season 3, DeGarmo weathered Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London to back into a finale spot versus eventual winner, Fantasia Barrino.

Should Brooke White or Jason Castro be eliminated this week, doubtful given that this is Neil Diamond week (surely spelling the end for Mercado), we’re left with a scenario that next week isn’t one custom fit for frontrunner David Cook.

The shockers happen in 4th place, right? Tamyra Gray. Chris Daughtry.

At that point, Syesha would be in a three-way competition with Archuleta and either Brooke or Jason, a massive edge come the week that Clive Davis picks a song. With only three left, singers get to sing two of their best and belt a monster ballad, and it’s a position suited to Syesha.

Don’t think she makes it past this week, but if she does, watch out. I absolutely could see her in a finale, getting waxed by David Archuleta. But I could see other scenarios even more.

4. Jason Castro sneaks into a finale against David Cook.

Let’s say Syesha and Brooke go down in order the next two weeks and fans of those two blame their respective demise on the little one, tiny Mr. Archuleta. Let’s say they collude to vote for the underdog in the Final 3.

In my scenario, this would be Jason Castro, and I call it the Blake Lewis scenario. Lewis had no business knocking out Melinda Doolittle last year but did, and one of the big reasons why was because fans of ousted contestants swung votes to the underdog in the Final 3.

It wouldn’t matter as Cook would destroy Jason in a finale.

3. Castro backs into finale against Archuleta.

In this scenario, which I call the Bo Bice scenario, the super original long-hair steps it up just enough in the wake of a major upset (which would have to be Cook’s ouster) to grab his piece of a finale.

Let’s say Jason does a song in the Final 3 with just vocal and guitar and no strings, no synths, nothing but the raw talent. I say he has a shot.

Nonetheless, it wouldn’t matter come finale week as Archuleta would manhandle him in the voting.

2. David Cook beats David Archuleta in the finale — or — 1. David Archuleta beats David Cook in the finale.

These last two scenarios are by far the most likely, and it would all depend on song choice. Bottom line is that if David Archuleta sings “Imagine” as his final song in the finale, he wins.

End of story.

But if David Cook belts out Chris Cornell’s version of “Billie Jean” or Doxology’s version of “Eleanor Rigby,” then he has a shot.

The key is in who goes last.

Like the Romans were back in the day, we Idol viewers are pretty easily swayed. And should the winner of that coin flip choose to go first, it would equal the mistake made by Brutus at Caesar’s funeral when he gave Mark Antony the floor.

Regardless, in all likelihood, that twosome will be the two Davids.

And I think who wins at this point could come down to who sings last.